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WANT better relationships? Say these things. Don’t Say these things.

ALL of us want great relationships! How can we change them? God can help us!

THINGS NOT TO SAY

1. Anything SARCASTIC. Sarcasm is the world’s attempt at humor by tearing another down and then applying the bandage of “Just Kidding!” I learned a quote from my hubby, “Sarcasm always contains a kernal of truth.” In every relationship, sarcasm always leads one person to think, “Do they really think that?”

2. Anything DEMORALIZING about an individual’s appearance or behavior.  We can challenge ourselves to turn away from this age-old (and socially acceptable) form of bullying.

3. Anything impugning AUTHORITY. When my kids were little, I remember thinking, “Wow!The greatest example I can give my kids is to honor God, my husband, the governing authorities in my life, and other people. ” The Bible  is very clear about following well. Great leaders always follow first .

THINGS TO SAY

1. Anything that is BUILDING. A great action verb! Let’s ask ourselves, “Am I an encourager?”. It seems like a discipline but over time, but “verbal building” becomes a language. Gather some gal pals and challenge yourselves to  write down 3 positive things about people in their lives. REHEARSING TRUTH CHANGES LIVES! I’ve seen this rescue marriages!

2. Anything that UNITES.  Many of us know how to do this!This is nearly natural. SHARED EXPERIENCES + SHARED GROWTH=DEEP FRIENDSHIPS. This builds lifetime friendships & encouraging relationships.  This is the kind of positive habit that can actually heal.

3.Anything that LOVES. Maybe the greatest satisfaction in our lives will be that we left a LEGACY. We all  to have a legacy that honors God, our marriages, our children, and our friends.

A legacy of kindness is truly a legacy of reward. God wants to give us this gift today!

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Honor without humility

After 25 years of working with amazing leaders-there are certain things that are always true. My heroes are men & women of deep humility. 2 weeks ago, @pastorbriangfisher taught 2 principles from Matthew 20 that gave us all pause! “We want honor without humility. We want authority without submission.” Zing! We get it-we all struggle here! Instead of asking a generic , “Am I proud?” Join me in asking yourself these questions.

1. How low am I willing to go?

2. How much of the world’s success have I brought into my faith?

3. Am I disrespectful to my current authority?

4. Am I known for a loving or critical spirit?

5. Is my heart living in awe toward God or anger toward God?

If you’re like me, these questions cut to the quick. Yet, we all want more of Jesus, more peace, more joy, & more satisfaction! Maybe it’s time to step up to going low. #matthew20 #betterlife #humility #followwell#leadwell

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GRACELISM (or “Am I a legalist?”)

My friend, Mary, added this pic and I thought ,”That is EXACTLY how I feel living under a GOD OF GRACE WHO LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT! I  want to live like this! Arms lifted high-RECEIVING. Lately, I find myself in awe of the overwhelming vastness of GOD’S GRACE.  Is grace really free or do I need to do some things because I am in a  “divine pay-off” relationship with God? Am I living in GRACE or LEGALISM? GRACE IS UNMERITED FAVOR-no question-but I think the depth of this would shock us. We often think of the word “SIN” as an action or thought when it can also be a state. Why does it seem as we live in 2 worlds? The busy, daily grind when we don’t think about God at all on Tuesday, yet we can experience the spiritual HIGH of a Sunday morning.

I CORINTHIANS 3 TEACHES US THERE ARE  3 TYPES OF PEOPLE. 

  1. “NATURAL MAN” (one not knowing Christ as Savior)
  2. “CARNAL MAN “(person having come to know Christ, but not obeying Him as Lord)
  3. “SPIRITUAL  MAN”( person having trusted Christ as Savior & obeying Him.) With Romans 7 as our guide, we are stuck! When you can, read ROMANS 6-8 in one sitting. If you want, write down what you see. GOD’S incomprehensible GRACE breaks that ridiculous chain that we all wear- STRIVING FOR GOD TO LIKE US!

When I look through these chapters, I think, why do I do what I do?  If I am a legalist, it’s  because a vine of deceit has woven itself around me that says “work for God”or sadly, impress others with my devotedness. If I live in GRACE-REAL FREE GRACE-I walk with God BECAUSE I’M RESPONDING to Him in BROKENNESS. I know, I mean really, I can’t do it. I can’t obey without God’s Spirit, I can’t desire time in His Word without His gentle hand, & I want to be self-centered at least 30 times a day. YET, HE WAITS….KINDLY, WITH OPEN & GENTLE HANDS & ALWAYS A BETTER WAY! CHECK YOURSELF WITH THESE QUESTIONS. THEY HELP ME!

  1. WHY am I doing this activity (bible study, speaking, or serving in the church kitchen)?
  2. Do I believe God would STILL love me if I didn’t do these activities? Do I RECEIVE His kindness ?
  3. Do I “feel good” about myself when I do “religious things”?
  4.  Do I reckon myself dead and crucified with Christ and that nothing good dwells in my flesh? I love it that LIFE STARTED AT A SYMBOL OF DEATH- A TOMB! ANY GOOD IN ME IS HIS GOOD.
  5. I have to ask God to break me any spiritual pride, really, to help me see the true state of our humanity. When I do, I am be surprised (maybe discouraged, sometimes?). Then,& only then, do we awaken to see OUR COMPLETE NEED AND HIS MAJESTY…and THAT IS GOOD.

May our lives be open to Him in True Humility,

Tristie